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Been thinking of a conversation between friends regarding the use of the world “Elder”. These two had an argument concerning the use of the term where one person thought that those younger should call them Elder because they were older then their peers.

The other person’s stance was that although the first person was indeed older, the younger person had been more engaged in the community and as such hadn’t really gained the “Elder” status that the first person sought from the second person.

This got me to thinking, (yeah, I know. Bad idea.) about the term “Elder” versus “elder”. I capitalized the first as I am attempting to differentiate between two commonly used meanings:

The two definitions are below (thanks to Dictionary.com)

–adjective a compar. of old with eldest as superl.
1. of greater age; older.
2. of higher rank; senior: an elder officer.
3. of or pertaining to former times; earlier: Much that was forbidden by elder custom is accepted today.
–noun
4. a person who is older or higher in rank than oneself.
5. an aged person.
6. an influential member of a tribe or community, often a chief or ruler; a superior.

Now I’ve been thinking about this and my interpretation of an “Elder” is a lot less jumbled together.

My definition of an “Elder”:
- A scholarly, aware and educated mmber of the community who has a significant, known presence and influence but isn’t arrogant or bull-ish with their presence.
- A person that commands respect, but is respected voluntarily
- A person that has/does serve(d) as an educator and guide for the community, someone that people can ask for help and approach easily without fear of judgment.

My definition of “elder” is more inline with “senior”, as only a declaration of age when used in comparison to another, like, “My grandfather is my father’s elder.”

I guess the cause of this internal examination was that there are several people that are elder to me in age, but I can’t really quite call them an “Elder” due to various circumstances. I think that an “Elder” is more like the Clerics and the Priest/ess in the villages of ages ago whose counsel was sought when things went bad, who kept their head calm even when all hell was breaking loose.

I actually believe that age alone does not qualify someone as “Elder” unless they have done something to earn the respect associated with the term. The “Elder” is respected by all people, even those that might not agree with them because they are diplomatic about the disagreements, even when others resort to less dignified methods of settling disputes.

Now that’s not to say that an Elder can’t make a mistake, nor are they absolved of any wrongdoing. It’s more how they handle the situation, owning up to the fact they gave bad advice rather than running away shouting names like a child. In fact, it’s oftentimes how they handle themselves when the gun is aimed at them that can define the difference between a true Elder and a coward.

Your thoughts?